Summer Jobs

Is it just me or are summer jobs the worstttttttttt!!! Like for 2 month between the shit that is highschool your expected to work some job in the back kitchen of some shitty burger joint. Yea perfect, why dont I just get a job working for the corporations, that will help stop them.

This is how you become part of the problem. By Becoming a moving part in the corporate machine that is taking away the freedoms and peace in the world. And all this for what? $9hr. Give me a break, what the hell can one do with $9hr? Buy a fuckin iPod and Hollister pants just to what, impress girls! The corporations are just trying to play you for fools!!!!!! I HAVE EXPOSED THEM !!!!

Its time we take action and hit the corporations where it hurts. Everyone needs to quit their job. This way the corporations wont have the power and it will be anarchy!!

Stop big brother!

FREEDOM

IMMMMMMAAAAAAA FAGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that's right. no more hiding. i came out.






stay tuned...

Well we've all been pretty busy with exams happening and going on and all that lately, which is why there haven't been any posts for a little while. To our faithful readers, sorry about that.

Since we're talking about exams right now, i'll take the opportunity to mention how much they freaking suck!!! i mean come on, could anyone ever think of a worse way to test for intelligence? They just make you sit there for hours and hours and memorize facts so that you can perform like a dog at a dog show for them on exam day. It doesn't actually mean that you know ANYTHING!!! All you have done is bought into their system of reading over things 100 times until it gets drilled into your brains. Like advertisements and social norms. You keep hearing that you need to have this certain type of clothes, or look this certain way, and you will be happy. As an outsider looking in, you would think "wow, that is fucking stupid", but after being told 800 times every day, it gets engrained into your consciousness, and you start to believe it.

Getting back to exams though, couldn't they come up with something that REALLY shows how intelligent people are, instead of just turning them into mindless drones who are well-suited to join the corporate machine????

I hate society and its goddamn drones.

Clarity

hello old friends. when i left you, i was stuck in a sticky spot, not knowing whether i was gay or straight. I wondered if i should try to pursue my feelings or try and suppress them, but now i feel as if i've made the right decision (well at least the only one i could). So not knowing what I should do I went to the people closest to me for consultation. My friends (fatflamingo and trubblmakr among others..) told me that I should at least try to pursue my curious desires (which focused upon that boy who shall remain anonymous on my football team), but when i hinted I was having these feelings to my mom, she suddenly turned pale, stiffened up and said: "Jeffery, you better pray to the almighty that you did not say what I think you just said. If you ever even think those thoughts again, so help me I will not only send you to a fucking boarding school, you will never see your friends again." it was the coldest and most hurtful conversation I had ever had. My mom, the woman who raised me and whom i've had unmeasurable affection towards had now caused my heart to turn to ice. it felt like hell. it felt worse than hell.

All I know is that i never want to feel that way again. How can I live my life without my mom and dad? without my best friends? my entire family gone, just for some lil fantasy that I might have? it's just not worth it. In short, i've decided that I won't be poking around with those ideas for awhile. I guess i need to find a girl to ease my mother's fears. For once, i'll actually make an effort towards a real relationship instead of those minor hook-ups. So, the hunt beings. I will start scopin around tomorrow, maybe that Sarah chick in my Chemistry class.

well, even though i've just gone through probably the hardest time of my life, i'm left optimistic and im hopeful I can make my parents feel proud....no matter how badly I feel inside..........

So it's happened again...

surprise surprise, it's happened again. Remember how I talked before about girls and how lame they all are? Well, something that happened to me yesterday just made me even more sure of that. I wasn't sure if I wanted to write about this, since it was hard enough to go through, and I figured writing it all out again would only hurt me more. But here we go anyways...

A few weeks ago, a girl moved to our school from another city. She wasn't like most of the other jerks and conformists at our school. She was different. Immediately, I took a liking to her. It wasn't a "love at first sight" thing, and I don't believe in that sort of thing anyways. She just seemed like a really cool girl. We talked, and started to become friends. Things were really awesome. I introduced her to my other friends (most of whom post on this site) and everyone really liked her. She was nice to us, we all liked the same kinds of things,it was great.

As the days went on, I started to feel like I wanted to be more than just friends. I didn't know if she felt the same way though, so I didn't say anything for a while. All of this week, I've been working up my courage to just go ahead and tell her how I feel deep down inside. I mean, I write my feelings onto the internet for anyone who is interested to read, so how could it be that hard? It was hard though. Especially since every time I try to do this I just get shot down and all it does is put me into a spell of pain that feels like it will never end.

So last night, i told myself that I wouldn't come home today until I had told her how I felt. All day at school I tried to think of what I was going to  say. I couldn't concentrate on anything. Even now, I don't even remember what happened in any of my classes, or even how I got from one class to another. I certainly don't remember walking there. Anyways, once the day was over, I walked over to the front of the school, where her, Fat Flamingo, justdiff, and I usually meet up after school to try and find her. When I got there, FF and justdiff were waiting. I told them that I had to grab something from my house before we went out for the night and that I had to hand in an assignment before I went home to get it, and that the new girl wasn't going to be around tonight (this was a lie to get them to leave so I could be with her alone [sorry guys!].

They said that they would wait at justdiff's house for me and walked off. I sat there and waited for a few more minutes. I watched people walk out the front doors, keeping my eyes peeled for the new girl. My heart was pounding, and I felt a bit sick to my stomach. Then, I spotted her. At first, everything seemed fine, but then when she was fully out of the crowd leaving the doors, someone grabbed her hand and interlaced their fingers with hers. In confusion, I looked up, and saw that the arm belonged Josh Parker (not his real name). I just stood there for a minute, in shock. I completely froze. I just watched them as they walked by. She didn't even glance over at me. Once they passed me by, I regained control of my thoughts. I thought to myself "ok, what's going on here? this can't be how it looks. It's probably a dare or something, or a joke. yeah, that's it..." and just as I was trying to figure out what the hell was going on, they stopped by a car in the parking lot, and he pulled her over and kissed her. My mind exploded. It was like a had been stabbed with a thousand knives all at once. I can't remember ever feeling more angry,  sad, broken, and played in my entire life. It seemed to last forever. Then, he pulled away, took out some car keys, unlocked the car, and they got in and drove away.

I just stood there in shock again for what seemed like hours. When I finally was able to move again, I guess I started walking home, because the next thing I realized, I was sitting on a chair in my basement. I was so taken up with my thoughts, that I was like a zombie, with no freewill or realization of where I was going.

Once I realized where I was, I totally broke down. I cried and cried and cried. I'm not embarrassed to say that that's what I did, either. Only lame macho tough guys suppress their feelings. It felt like the entire world was laughing at me. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. I sat there for a long time, feeling worse than I have ever felt in my whole life. I can't imagine any worse feeling that anyone has ever felt ever about anything. It was TERRIBLE.

After a while, I decided that I would write it all down, and maybe that would make me feel better. Writing on this blog has been really therapeutic so far, so I figured that maybe it would be the same for this. Now, after writing everything down, I still feel awful, but it feels good to have written it down. I don't know if I'll ever feel totally better, but I"m glad I wrote this all down.

To my friends: sorry I didn't ever show up, but I just want to be alone right now. I want to be alone for a long time.

Love is a terrible thing. I'll never make this mistake again.

I haz sympathy?

I just dont know, Im so confused right now about just about everything. Why cant I have loving caring friends and parents? Why is everyone out to get me? Wheres the compassion in this world? All I ask for is sympathy from my friends. Like seriously, I dumped my girlfriend for another girl and no one is giving me any sympathy!!! Im going to start smoking and drinking lots, and telling them about how I hurt myself, then they have to give me sympathy! Why cant people just see how hard life is for me? Im a single child with both my parents alive. 2 cats and my own used car. Like seriously I dropped out of school I should get some sympathy for that at least. When will people understand that I have a sympathy disease. Without sympathy I cant be happy. And it seems like no matter how much I starve myself, cut myself, smoke and drink no one feels bad for me. I just went through a rough break of leaving someone I really cared about for almost 2 years. You know how hard that is on someone? To just get up and leave someone you love for another person? And now my ex doesn't want to be friends for some reason. I should defiantly get some sympathy for that. Like how immature, people leave people for other people all the time. Sure I was a complete asshole to her but thats what she gets for giving me no sympathy. Well to show her next time she comes over asking to be friends Ill start crying and yell GET THE FUCK OUT, then my friends will have to spend the next day with me and give me sympathy. Like for fuck sake I have my own USED car!!!! Why not a new car? Thats how hard life is for me. I just wish someone would understand that sympathy is a diease that can not be stopped. Please internet, give me some sympathy. It's only 1 of 2 things that makes me happy.

-xoxo

Love the One your With

It is so hard to find someone right. You know, smart, beautiful, independent and intelligent. These days it really seems the four can no longer co-exist. I'm not very popular at school but I still know a lot of people, and unfortunately I only know 1 person in the entire world who through the troubles of life has managed to retain these qualities and blossom into the most wonderful person.
To simply try and describe this girl in words would be a impossible feat as their are no words in the English language that can capture how beautiful and amazing she is. She is simply breath taking. I've know her a while and always thought highly of her and saw how good we would be for each other. The perfect match is the only way I could describe us, just perfect.
She had been away off at college in the most recent year but finally returned for the summer. I simply could not wait to see her. And when I did, it all came back. All my old emotions came back but flowed with a intensity I had never experienced before. I couldn't believe how fast I was falling in love.

Everyday we hung out was simply the best day of my life. Every time we spoke it was our best conversation. Our relationship was growing so strong so fast like a wild fire spreading through a dry field. I simply knew this girl was the one for me.

One night we were down by the creek near the old wind mill by the Laidlaw Estate. It was such a beautiful night. I knew this was the time for me to finally tell her how I felt, to release the flood gate of emotion and let it all out. As we sat there I ran through what I wanted to say in my head. Just as I was sure about what to say, I opened my mouth to speak but she opened hers first. I stopped to listen.

She told me how she was leaving. Leaving for the summer to go far away where I would never see her. And just like that it was over. I had lost my true love forever. This summer was my moment, my time to sweep her off her feet. But now shes gone. Im here and she's there. And she still doesn't know how I feel. What should I do, im not sure. I think I am just meant to be alone forever.

Maybe some of us are.

-xoxo

WII OWNS PT1

you know while everyone else is busy playing their xbox360s and their ps3s, there's one superly under-rated console that everyone, for some reason, keeps forgetting about - the nintendo wii, probably the greatest system to ever grace this planet. NOW i know what your thinking "omfg who plays wii excpet soccer moms and 6 yr olds" but if you were really intellagent you'd look at the monthly business data which shows that wii has outsold all other videogames. so you cant deny it. its acutllay pretty simple, why the wii owns so much. first off, MOTION CONTROL!! has completely revolutionized how we play games. before when you would just puch a button to make something happen now you can waggle your wrist to do the same thing, WITHOUT PUSHING A BUTTON. as if you were inside the game! the wii is probably the closest we have come to virtual reality. people are probably gonna be like "ya but the graphics suck". NOT TRUE if you compare a wii game to a 360 or ps3 game YOU CANT TELL THE DIFFERENCE , theyre all next-gen which means theyre all the same. also wii is portable, and the name is the same sound you make when you have fun! WIIIIIIIIIII! 

anyway sory for an angry first post but i had to make the truth knOWN!

(ps add me on xbl at drk  phant0m)

Jobs

What the hell is up with Jobs these days? You go out looking for a decent full time job and when you think you finally got one what happens? They give you no hours and no benefits. Why? Because the corporations are trying to break us. Thats right man, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. When will these Satan sucking business men see what there doing to the world and our environment? The lies and deceiving in this world need to stop. Both on a business level and political level. Lets stop fighting terrorist and start fighting real issues like our own economic collapse. We are all going to be on the streets in 5 years if we dont do something. Wages cant keep up with inflation and we need affordable housing. If the greedy corporations would make their goal to help as many people as they can rather then make as much money as they can, the world would be a better place. Watch out for the corporation bro

-xoxo

God

This is a subject which we haven't talked about yet on this blog, but I have very strong feelings about it, so I figure I will be the first one of us to bring it up. What has god ever done that's so great? NOTHING, that's what. All that ever happens because of god is killing, hate, and war. That goes for all religions! It's been proven through studies and science that evolution happened. The bible was wrong, the koran was wrong, they were all wrong! Humans evolved from monkeys. Just accept it.

THERE IS NO GOD. ALL THAT HAPPENS BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE REFUSE TO SEE THE TRUTH IS MORE HATE, MORE VIOLENCE, AND MORE PAIN.

I don't see how people can take this kinda shit seriously. Let me give you an example of how crazy these god stories are. Today while my sister was watching tv, I walked by, and some christian idiot was on tv telling some story from the bible. Here's how it went.

There are two brothers, one of whom is very hairy, and one is very smooth. The smooth one was born second, so he was not to inherit his father's stuff when he died. To get the father to give him all of his stuff instead of his hairy brother, he took some goats, cut off their skin, and put it on his arms. Then he went up to his father (who had bad eyes and so could only tell the two apart through touching their arms) and said "hey dad, it's me, your hairy son. Are you going to give me all your stuff when you die?" and the father replied "let me feel your arms." So he did, and when he felt the goat fur on the smooth son's arms, he thought that it was his hairy son, so he gave his smooth son his blessing and said that he would inherit his things when he died.

Now, if that is not one of the dumbest stories you have ever heard, I will be stunned. How do people take these religions seriously with stories like that???

It angers me to no end to know that only if everyone was like me and saw how dumb these other people's ideas are, the world would be such a great place. Come on people, open your eyes! We need to all accept that god has done far more harm than any other source in history, and the world will become a much better place.

Mission to Mars

Ok, have you heard about this? Today, right now, a probe is landing on Mars. WHO CARES?? It's all over the tv, with people making it out to be some huge deal. All I have to say is NO ONE CARES!! NO ONE SHOULD CARE!

There are people starving all over the earth, global warming is going to kill us all, we still fight senseless wars that never accomplish anything, and we care about MARS?!?!? THERE ISN'T EVEN ANYTHING THERE!!! How can these people justify spending billions to develop and build these stupid robots that go to another planet to pick up dirt, just to tell us that there's nothing there. Why does it matter if there's water on Mars? That doesn't change anything. Until an intelligent alien steps in front of one of the cameras and introduces itself to the probe, I don't care. We should be spending our time and money concentrating on things that actually matter instead of wasting it on stupid projects like this!!! How do these people sleep at night, knowing that the money they take away from meaningful things like fighting poverty or AIDS to pick up dirt from a planet people can't even get to!!?!?!?!

It makes me so sick!!!!!

Trees and Childern

This is a issue that I feel I need to address on this site. Its kinda of a big deal. I will give you a hint, it is life. Thats right, were going to discuss the issue of the environment. Now I know what your probably thinking, "O some little shit is going to tell me what I already know about how the environment is important." I can say nothing other then simply, no. You see, Im more of a action person, I'm not one to sit around and vent on the internet about how dumb people are because they are. This post is about ACTION. This is a ACTION plan and what YOU can do to help the environment. So I compiled a list of 5 things we can all do to help Mother Nature out and then we can all breath a little easier.


5. Always turn the lights of when you leave a room
This is common sense people. In fact don't use lights at all. What do we need lights for? nothing we have the sun. Instead of hurting yourself at night do it in the afternoon when the sun is out.

4. Dont Waste Water
Long showers are for conformists. You think you would catch someone great like Pete Wentz having a long shower? No because he actually cares unlike most people.

3. Recycle!!!!!
GOD PEOPLE THIS ONE MAKES ME SO SICK!!! There are recycling bins every freakin where! Recycle everything you can all the time!!

2. Driving is for sleazy capitalists
Unless you enjoy supporting the sleazy capitalists in the whitehouse then just dont drive, dont even leave your house. This is our form of protest!

1. Walmart, dont get involved
All the shit and mass consumption you people are doing is causing more pollution then anything. Walmart hates the world and it hates you and me so dont buy into their lies.

This world is going to shit people, we either all go kill ourselves or start pulling our weight man.

-xoxo

If only I could be skinny...

As the only female in this group, I believe I am the only one who feels the pressure to be skinny. Everyday, I see super skinny girls walking around in miniskirts and I just wish I could be like them too. Then I would be beautiful and special, and boys would finally like me. It's because I'm fat that boys never like me, all the skinny girls always get the attention from boys. If I were skinny, life would be so perfect. 

I wish I could make myself stop eating forever. I just can't seem to stop myself and then before I know it, an entire pizza has been devoured and I just want to die or something because I'm so fat and gross. My life sucks soo much, like why can't I just be skinny? Life is so unfair. 

My first poem

So im kinda a writer you see. Im not one of those jock type who is afraid to share their emotions and feelings. I happen to enjoy reading and writing poetry rather then playing in a open field running into a wall of other steroid pumped men.

So this is a little one about how I feel right now, it's called Midnight Twilight.

Midnight Moonlight how are you tonight?
The sky is black as night, only lit by your moonlight
I walk alone in the rain and think about the pain
and then I think of your light I no longer feel the fright
Now thats shes gone I see the wrong
and realize this is my time to show the world I can shine
to stand on my own and begin to roam
through the world I once knew when I was with you
Here I am on this night, crying in your moonlight.

there it is, respect

Confusing

Hey guys, I've been wanting to address a subject for awhile now. Lately, I have been hesitant to express myself because in a way I didn't want to believe it myself. Well, since as long as I could remember I've "liked" girls. I would get crushes just like all the other boys but I guess I was just never as interested in them as some of my peers. Recently however I've been wondering if I just had an interest in females because society implanted that into my brain when I was young. You know, like its the social norm or some shit? My parents always tried to get me to do manly things because I liked to play with my sister's barbies and occasionally wanted to wear a dress. Anyway, this has all left me pretty confused and I'm not entirely sure as to why I'm revealing this, but I've had too much on my chest recently and I need to unload some steam. I think I am attracted to a teammate. Sure, I have slept around with the cheerleaders. I don't have trouble getting with the ladies but it just never felt right. What it comes down to is, what do you guys think, should I keep questioning my feelings and exploring or is it better to avoid the hassle and the shame and bury these ideas deep down? I really need advice. I don't even know if I like boys, maybe I'm bisexual. I just don't know. Anyway, I know this article has been confusing but its just like my heart right now, so please understand. Thank you Internet Realm, without you I would be dead. <3

-Speed is Pain. Twist the Knife.

OMG, WTF!

I just received this comment on one of our previous posts/

" Anonymous said...

Ohhhhhhh fuck man this baby is so fucking hot, I would ride that until my balls were blue, Can you send me some more pics? I'll send my email privately to you guys. Thanks man, this shit is so sweet.

May 17, 2008 9:11 PM"

What the fuck is this shit!?!?! Like Jesus Christ what the fuck is up with this world!!?! What am I suppose to do when some fuck wants to get off to pictures of fucked up babies??? What sort of conservative mindset is this! This comment is probably from one of those baby fuckers. Why does the government allow these people to walk around freely? These people are the real fucking terrorists! Lets pull the troops out of Iraq and clean up this shit hole country first. How can I ever have kids in this fucked up world? What will the future be like with these sex bandits on the run?!?

Seriously some people have such trubblz i think they should just go off into the desert and die.

The Top Ten Most Important People In Music of ALL TIME

These are what I think are the most important people in music in my life and all of the music scene of the modern day. They have gotten me from some of the most tough times in my life. I don't know if I would have gotten through all of the troubles in my life without their musics.

1. Pete Wetnz (Fall Out Boy)

2. Brendon Urie (Panic at the Disco!)

3. Bert McCracken (The Used)

4. Davey Havok (AFI)

5. Tyson Ritter (All-American Rejects)

6. Dallas Green (City and Colour)

7. Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance)

8. Chris Carrabba (Dashboard Confessional)

9. Tom Higgenson (Plain White Tees)

10. Shane Told  (Silverstein)

I hate getting Ditched

I dont know what to do!, my friend keeps ditching me!!! He was suppose to come over tonight and game but instead he didnt, He always does this and its so frustrating! I feel like were drifting apart and I dont know what to do! We always say were going to hang out but then he never shows up and I wait and I wait and I worry about where he is and If hes ok. I really miss him. He means so much to me.

I know I just made this blog and ive posted alot but I just need to get this stuff of my chest and out in the open. Im just so frustrated with so many things in my life right now, so many trubblz i just dont know what else to do.

Native Americans/Canadians

So I know we usually talk about how hard it is for us young people growing up in a world like the one we live in, but today at school we saw a presentation about life on native reserves, and how horrible the conditions are. It's like, the white men came in hundreds of years ago, gave them all diseases, took all their shit, and put them all on to little crappy pieces of land with practically nothing. I mean, yeah, the government built houses and gave them schools and stuff, but they are WAAAAY worse than the worst houses in the worst neighborhoods outside of the reserves. A lot of them don't even have clean water!!!!

There was some stupid jerk at the presentation who was all like "well why don't they get off their asses and do something about it instead of whining for more money" and I just wanted to get up right then and there and yell at him, "how stupid are you?? Haven't you been listening? They can't just leave, or they will be , and they will lose all their culture. They are like connected to the land and their tribes and stuff! They can't just LEAVE! We should be talking about helping them and what we can do about their problems instead of telling them that we don't care!!!"

It makes me feel a little bit better that there are some people out there (the natives, not the jerk guy) who have troubles like I do.

I hate school so much

holy god man, i cant believe this stuff man. Like why cant people get along these days? Why is the world so loveless? Has humanity lost all hope? When people have to put people down people at school just to make themselves feel better. Just cause your mom is a whore doesnt give you any right to call me ugly and push me around and stuff. Why do people have to always be mean to me and only me? I just wanted to be loved and all I ever am is hurt. Its just so difficult to hold your chin high in the world of today. Bombs are going off in countries that I never knew about until I found out oil was there. Is that what this education system has come to! If we vote Obama there is still hope!
Im not ugly am I? One day I will be a successful and happy person and all the world will see how they were wrong. Why does it matter how you look on the outside anyway? Its the inside that matters, right? When will we learn to treat our fellow beings as fellow persons and not objects, stress balls or entertainment. Why do I have to pushed into puddles while the rich kids remain dry? Theres just so much wrong with the world today!!!! WHY DONT PEOPLE RECYCLE!!! I just want somebody to love


remember there are trubblz everywhere, even school :(

PICTURE OF THE WEEK

DERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate girls!!!!

girls are seriously like the worst thing in the world ever. ALL THEY DO IS GIVE YOU MORE OF THE TROUBLES!!!! Every time I try to get close to someone, I just end up getting burned, and hurt. It takes months, and sometimes years to get over. I don't know what to do. I feel so alone. All of my friends have someone that they care abut and who cares about them. And then there is me, who has no one. I am afraid that I will live the rest of my life alone. Sometimes I wonder what the point of it all is... I just want to be happy, but I have so many of the troubles, that usually that seems impossible.

The terrible world we live in.

There is some TERRIBLE shit that goes on in the world, but today I came across one of the worst. As you may or my not (hopefully you have been able to hide from these abominations until now) there exists something called a Harlequin Fetus. If you lived in the Middle Ages, it would be more than enough to make you believe in satan. See the shit on the left.

If you didn't already have the troubles, now you certainly do. Try to sleep now, bitch!

I cry everynight

Seriously omg, I am so sad right now you have no idea. It is as if the world has turned off all its light and taken away all its love. I just finished up a msn conversation with the love of my life. We meet in kindergarden and grew up together. She was perfect in everyway. We would have been perfect in everyway. In grade 5 i moved away, doomed to the other edge of the world, torn apart from each other forever. Untill 7 years later, I would have to option of retuning to my hometown for 4 months, to get a summer job there. We had talked for months and months as much as we could, it felt as though I never left her, as if she had never left me, soul mates forever <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 It was going to be the best summer of my life. I was ready to book my plane ticket and tell her the news that I was coming back when word had reached me she was dating another guy. My heart sunk through my body like a ton of bricks would have fallen from a skyscraper. I couldnt believe she would do this to me. I was so upset I took the money I had saved up for my plane ticket and spent it on drugs and cheap sex. I dont know if I will ever be able to get over her so Im asking you internet. PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME!!! IM SO SAD AND MISS HER SO MUCH!!!

I hate everything.

Oh my god. I hate the world sooooo much. Everything sucks. It's like, life sucks, and the you die.  Life is pain. Especially when you have the the troubles in your life like I have. Like my parents, right, they like don't like the music I listen to, so whenever I am playing it, they come up and yell at me to turn it down. How lame is that? I hate them so much. I wish they would just leave me alone forever.